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Along with heartache, stress, sleepless nights, tears, loneliness, anger, relief, joy, and a slew of other emotions, a Michigan divorce is also accompanied by guilt. And guilt will be the reigning feeling for years to come, especially if you have children. Allow us to assuage your regrets about your imploding marriage, first by saying that divorce happens, and sometimes it’s for the best. Second, there are plenty of things to feel guilty about during a divorce, but there are also plenty of things to not feel guilty about.
If you’re experiencing any guilt over the following, let it go. You have a life to live, and now that you’re free of a marriage that wasn’t working, it’s time to go out and truly live it.
Here are seven things you should not feel guilty about in your Michigan divorce:
1. Working more and being home less.
Maybe your kids are used to mom or dad being there to greet them every day when they get home from school. Divorce, however, has made it necessary for you to go out and get a full-time job. And that means not always being able to show up the way you used to. Don’t feel guilty. Find a proxy as often as you can, but if you can’t make it, don’t sweat it. You’re working for the security and solvency of your family, no matter how much you may or may not be receiving in spousal support or child support.
2. Indulging your kids less.
Every parent is guilty of a little indulgence or spoiling their kids from time to time. If your budget has taken a hit, however, it simply won’t be possible for you to buy things or spend the kind of money on your kids like you used to. This might require a serious sit-down conversation. Being forthright is the best move for you to make, especially with tweens and teens. Don’t feel guilty or apologize for not being as generous – consider this change in your financial status a challenge to create memorable experiences for you and your kids, without tangible goods.
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3. Being sad.
You just got a divorce or you’re in the middle of one. Your marriage has ended and with it the family life you knew and loved, or at least imagined. Go ahead and be said. You’re allowed, guilt-free.
4. Creating a new social life.
No matter how long your marriage was, your social life will be different now that you’re divorced. If you’re determined to get back out there with friends or by dating, you’ll have to put some effort into going out, making connections, and enjoying yourself. You deserve to recreate your existence. Don’t feel guilty about going out with the girls or guys, attending a happy hour after work, or online dating.
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5. Going solo.
Sure, you want your kids to know you have their back during this divorce, but don’t be a barnacle because you feel guilty about getting a divorce. It’s completely acceptable to do things alone, without the kids. When you’re the custodial parent, alone time is even more important than ever before – take it when you can get it (even if it means forcing your kids to spend time with your ex and his or her “yucky” family) and don’t squander those precious moments or feel bad about them.
6. Staying mum.
You have dedicated so many hours, days, weeks, months, even years to thinking about, caring for, or tolerating your ex, the last thing you may want to do is talk about him with anyone, including your children. Don’t feel guilty for shutting down any ex-related conversations that you are not interested in having.
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7. Demanding financial support and parenting support.
Support comes in many forms. Monetary support is critical, but so is physical support, actually pulling your weight when it comes to the kids. Your ex may feel that because he or she initiated the divorce or has moved out of the family home, their obligations where their children or former spouse are concerned have dwindled to nothing. Untrue. You have every right to demand that your ex spend time with your kids and provide you with a break, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about this need. An experienced Michigan divorce attorney will aid you in this quest.
If you are ready to talk about your divorce, contact an experienced Michigan divorce attorney at Michigan Divorce Help in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your no-cost initial interview, guilt-free.
Most lawyers are in a general practice and do some of everything. One of our main focuses is on Family law and being expert at divorce, custody and support matters.
We are in court daily, working with the family court judges, their staff and clerks, the Friend of the Court office, the Bar Association and other attorneys working in this area. We pride ourselves on fighting hard for our clients while working well with everyone.
Our extensive experience and strong relationship with the courts and our peers leads many judges and attorneys to hire us to act as Mediators in other Family Law cases. Make no mistake; having a strong working relationship with the court can have a massive impact on your case. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and are in trial regularly against the best in the business. We see the judges every week and maintain strong ties with their staff.
Although every attorney can “handle” your case, Michigan Divorce Help cares about you and your family. We work extremely hard to keep this difficult process civil and to shelter your children from as much of the negative facets as possible.
Once your case is concluded, we will be there to help you with any post-judgment problems that may arise.
Everyone’s financial situation is different and we work with our clients to formulate a fee arrangement that works within your means.
We have handled every possible situation involving domestic law. We will do everything possible to wrap up your case in a timely manner, avoiding delays that cause unnecessary legal fees.
When your case cannot be easily solved, we will fight hard and use all of our resources to win. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and we regularly win cases against the best in the business at trial.
Unlike many attorneys who have a part-time typist and work 30 hours a week, we have an expert staff available all day long to assist you and provide immediate service.
At Michigan Divorce Help, your case will be handled by an experienced family law attorney. Each of our attorneys in our family law division has many years of experience in handling family law matters.
During traditional business hours, please call us at: (586) 954-9500
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The information presented within this website is for general information purposes and is NOT and should not be considered as being “legal advice”. You should not act on any information presented herein without the verifying same with your attorney.