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The Divorce Attorney Journal

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Divorce Attorney Journal

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July 5, 2016
5 yearsago

infidelity perceptionsHe doesn’t think he’s been unfaithful. She absolutely thinks he has. What one person believes is a marker of infidelity can be the difference between a relationship continuing and inevitable Michigan divorce. Simply enough, infidelity perceptions differ between men and women, according to new research published in Sexual & Relationship Therapy

The Perception of Infidelity

Perception is everything, especially when it comes to infidelity. And perception, as we all know, is often far more important than reality. Worries about cheating come with their own mind games: Does he smell different? Why was he out so late? Why did he come back early? Who was he talking to? Did he lie to me about who he was texting with? Did he really go to the gym? There is no end to the mental distress that a woman can endure when concerning herself with the trustworthiness of her male partner. Of course, men can have the same kinds of questions running through their mind. But what this study focused on was the categorization of infidelity, not concerns about it.

There were 354 undergraduate psychology students who completed an online questionnaire that was intended to assess their personality and how it affects their perceptions of infidelity and their sensitivity to rejection. Infidelity was categorized in three ways: sexual infidelity, intimate infidelity, and fantasy infidelity.

In other words, does sex with another person constitute infidelity? Does becoming emotionally but not physically involved with another person besides your spouse count as infidelity? Does daydreaming about infidelity equate to actually cheating with someone else? For women, the answer was often yes to these questions. For men, not so much.

Women are more likely to initiate a divorce >>

Mars vs Venus in the World of Infidelity

The authors of the study found that “women were more likely than men to identify both sexual-based and emotion-based acts as constituting infidelity.” This finding wasn’t a surprise to the researchers who discovered that women scored higher than men in measures of “communion,” which is defined as the extent to which a person wants to form and maintain positive interpersonal bonds.

This isn’t to say that men are only and always about sex, that they aren’t ever invested in their relationship, and they couldn’t care less if their spouse is emotionally available to someone else. But, at least according to this study, a wife is far more sensitive about her husband becoming emotionally close with another woman and often considers this behavior cut-and-dried relationship infidelity.

Study says: You may have gotten married at the wrong age >>

Ease Anxiety: Identify Gender Differences

What the study didn’t pursue was whether these perceptions of men and women lead to the demise of relationships. Infidelity, of course, is able to cause the breakdown of a marriage. But for some people it’s their definition of infidelity that can create a dissatisfying and broken relationship. Couples can better navigate the minefield of infidelity by speaking openly with each other and clearly identifying their perceptions of infidelity and their expectations for the relationship. Let your partner know that you think of texting with your ex-spouse as intimate infidelity. Be open about your concerns if you have any worries about infidelity in your relationship. Couples therapy can sometimes help.

If you’re beyond the point of talking and divorce is in your future, contact an experienced Michigan divorce attorney at Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your no-cost initial interview.



What makes us the right divorce attorneys for you?

Family Law Expertise

Most lawyers are in a general practice and do some of everything. One of our main focuses is on Family law and being expert at divorce, custody and support matters.

Strong Relationships

We are in court daily, working with the family court judges, their staff and clerks, the Friend of the Court office, the Bar Association and other attorneys working in this area. We pride ourselves on fighting hard for our clients while working well with everyone.


Our extensive experience and strong relationship with the courts and our peers leads many judges and attorneys to hire us to act as Mediators in other Family Law cases. Make no mistake; having a strong working relationship with the court can have a massive impact on your case. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and are in trial regularly against the best in the business. We see the judges every week and maintain strong ties with their staff.

We Care

Although every attorney can “handle” your case, Femminineo Attorneys cares about you and your family. We work extremely hard to keep this difficult process civil and to shelter your children from as much of the negative facets as possible.


Once your case is concluded, we will be there to help you with any post-judgment problems that may arise.


Everyone’s financial situation is different and we work with our clients to formulate a fee arrangement that works within your means.


We have handled every possible situation involving domestic law. We will do everything possible to wrap up your case in a timely manner, avoiding delays that cause unnecessary legal fees.


When your case cannot be easily solved, we will fight hard and use all of our resources to win. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and we regularly win cases against the best in the business at trial.

Expert Staff

Unlike many attorneys who have a part-time typist and work 30 hours a week, we have an expert staff available all day long to assist you and provide immediate service. We are available to our clients 24 hours a day through our hot line at 586-854-3654.

Personal Service

At Femminineo Attorneys, your case will be handled by an experienced family law attorney. Each of our attorneys in our family law division has many years of experience in handling family law matters.

We encourage you to see these differences for yourself and call today to speak with one of our partners or schedule a free consultation at our office.

During traditional business hours, please call us at: (586) 954-9500

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