Gwyneth Paltrow has made the news again for her unorthodox relationship choices. This time, it’s not a conscious uncoupling with her husband – aka, a divorce – it’s she and her second husband keeping separate homes and only staying together for a few nights a week. Is she onto something? Could you avoid a Michigan divorce by sleeping in separate beds?
Separate Sleep, Happy Marriage?
Combining two lives into one home is a challenge for even the most agreeable people, whether you live together before marriage or only cohabitate once you’ve said your vows. You’re blending together your preferences and opinions about décor, temperature, who goes to bed early and who gets up late, exercise routines, bathroom time, and more. You know a lot about each other before you wed, but coming together in one living space is an adjustment and then some.
In this Marie Kondo universe, it was found that 48 percent of couples fight about clutter – and one of the biggest times they do this is when they’re merging their lives together into one home (and this gets even more complicated for blended families). Keeping separate homes could certainly help minimize fights about whose ugly chair goes where and who gets to decide the bathroom rules, but not many people can afford the luxury of two homes. And, why would you want to?
If you’re married, don’t you want to be together?
Can’t there just be a “man cave” in your shared home to give one person his or her space when they need it?
To each their own, of course. But if you want to keep your marriage healthy and strong, compromise is critical. That might mean overcoming the “stigma” of sleeping separately.
Michigan Divorce or Separate Beds?
Happily married or not, getting enough sleep can help you get through just about every day, no matter the challenges. Getting enough rest might even be enough to help you keep your temper and a clear head so you can work through things with your spouse that might have once seemed impossible to overcome. Sleeping in separate beds doesn’t mean you don’t love each other – if you’re doing it for the right reasons, it means you love each other enough to get the sleep you need.
Many couples have separate sleeping spaces because they just can’t take their spouse’s sleep apnea breathing machines, snoring, tossing and turning, teeth grinding, or too many blankets. People are different. We’re not always great at cohabitating. You have to compromise about everything from what to eat for dinner to what to watch on TV – sleeping arrangements can follow the same path. A National Sleep Foundation survey found that nearly one in four American couples sleep in separate bedrooms or beds.
Once upon a time, married couples slept in the same room, but in separate beds – at least on TV. In real life, this technique could work for the restless sleepers. But when you’re married to a loud sleeper, more drastic action may need to be taken. While most of the population don’t have the means to maintain separate homes like Paltrow and her hubby, many do have the option to create a second master sleeping space or, heck, just use the guest room.
If sleeping separately isn’t enough to keep your marriage going and you are ready to get a Michigan divorce, contact Femminineo Attorneys PLLC in Mount Clemens for your initial consultation, so you can rest well.