Nostalgia can be a beast, especially in the wake of a divorce. No matter how much you wanted your split from your spouse and couldn’t wait to be finished with your marriage, there will come moments when you’ll remember the good things about your former relationship. What’s worth hanging onto? What’s better to toss out? Time to figure out how to tidy up your life post-divorce.
1. Get rid of the physical clutter.
When you split up with your spouse and he or she moves out, things will inevitably be left behind. It can be daunting to imagine ridding every element of this person from your entire life – that is the heart of divorce, after all – but starting small will help you tackle the big job.
Begin by decluttering a drawer or a closet. You hated their favorite chair? If your ex doesn’t come pick it up by the date you’ve provided, give it away or sell it. Any unwanted or unloved items can go. You will be amazed at how positive and free your space feels – even a space that you once shared together – when you remove objects that can remind you of your former spouse. Don’t allow “stuff” to trigger anger, guilt, or remorse.
2. Get rid of the emotional clutter.
It’s not only physical objects that need some tidying up after a divorce. Emotionally, you have a lot swirling about in your heart and mind. What you feel will run the spectrum, before and after your split. You may want to enlist the help of a therapist to get support in eliminating any mental or emotional clutter – negative thoughts, unresolved problems, resentment, fear, rejection, betrayal, anger.
Stepping back and taking inventory of what you feel and what you want to feel can help you deal with your emotions and let go of unhealthy thought patterns. When you let go of the negative, joy can be found in its place.
3. Review the intimate stuff.
If you’ve always been a saver and you have every movie stub, anniversary card, or special memento that your partner gave you over the years, it may be time to let everything go. You’ll be tempted to keep some of the more special items – but do you really want to be reminded of your 10-year anniversary trip to Paris? Probably not.
By ridding your home of the intimate traces of your marriage, you create a healthier space for yourself. Instead of being weighed down by memories, give yourself permission to make and save new memories.
4. You don’t have to let it all go.
Sometimes, giving yourself permission to feel joy about what once was is perfectly fine. If you have children, parenting time and child support may be sticking points for you and your ex, but you did create some beautiful people together. Give yourself permission to hold onto the good things. It’s OK to admit that it wasn’t all bad.
If you are ready to tidy up your life and file for divorce, contact Femminineo Attorneys in Macomb, Michigan, to schedule a free consultation with a divorce lawyer. We are here to help you through your divorce, support your goals, and give you the opportunity to find joy. Contact us today to schedule your visit.