The Divorce Attorney Journal

What if a husband and wife decide it’s time for him to leave the taxing job he’s been doing for years, that it’s time for the wife to go out and work on her career? Then what if the husband decides – on his own – that he’s going to go back to that job he quit, regardless of the wife’s wishes? Is that a divorce-worthy decision? Many people would say yes, others would say no. Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen fit into the first category with their high-profile divorce.

Are We Bad at Communicating in Relationships?

A survey from Preply, a website of foreign language tutors that focuses on confident communication, found that Americans are getting worse at communicating, especially in everyday life and relationships. Even if you’re the greatest football player of all-time and a supermodel, talking isn’t easy. Some of the findings:

• Relationship problems are the most difficult topic for Americans to discuss, more so than money and mental health.
• Top communication issues in relationships were defensiveness (90%), criticism (85%), not compromising (80%), stonewalling (74%), and belittling (63%).
• Bad communication habits are enough for 60% of respondents to end a relationship.
• From Baby Boomers to Gen Z, each subsequent generation feels less effective at communicating than the one that came before it.

Our Worst Communication Habits

Besides defensiveness, criticizing, belittling, and otherwise, Americans have plenty of other communication problems that can tank a marriage when they crop up over and over in conversation and arguments. These issues also lend themselves to difficulties in divorce proceedings, like figuring out parenting time.

America’s biggest communication problems include the following, per the Preply survey:

• Being interrupted (24%)
• Being talked over (19%)
• Having to repeat themselves (18%)
• The other person being distracted during the conversation because of their phone (14%)

Imagine trying to talk to the one you love and experiencing any of these communication faux pas repeatedly. Communication problems are insurmountable, but only if you want to and are willing to make it work – and if you’re capable of doing so. And the Preply survey found that relationship problems are too tough for most American to talk about.

Relationship Communication Pet Peeves

It’s difficult to discuss sensitive subjects and, for some couples, it’s tough to transcend different cultures or languages to truly understand each other. Sometimes it’s a challenge to communicate what you’re doing or how you’re feeling when you don’t even know what your motivation or thoughts are about your own behaviors. This isn’t abnormal in any way, but when a loved one points out lack of self-awareness and you don’t do anything to alter your actions can be the thing that ends a marriage.

Communication pet peeves add up over time. If you commit one or more of these behaviors, you may find yourself face to face with a divorce judge:

• Lack empathy
• Passive aggressive
• Makes assumptions about what you mean instead of asking or listening
• Constantly talks about themselves
• Overly emotional
• Uses “you” instead of “I” statements

Communicate with Your Michigan Divorce Lawyer

No one knows if Tom and Gisele’s marriage deteriorated because of poor communication. From the outside, it certainly seems like there was a major disconnect. If your marriage has reached an impasse because of a communication issue or otherwise, it’s time to have a talk with a Michigan divorce attorney.  Contact Femminineo Attorneys to open up and change your circumstances.

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