The seven-year itch is a well-known cultural reference, implying that a couple is more likely to be unhappy in their marriage around the seven-year mark and potentially call it quits or engage in infidelity. Some new research indicates, however, that it’s your age that matters more than the number of years you’ve been married when it comes to cheating.
The age of 39 is now being reported as the danger age for cheating, as reported by the UK-based website Illicit Encounters (the British version of America’s Ashley Madison, if you will – a website for married people who want to engage in affairs). Is being on the cusp of age 40 the factor that spurs people into action as they attempt to prove to themselves that they’re still desirable even though they’re almost of a certain age? Could be, at least according to research conducted in 2014 by New York University and the University of California, Los Angeles (and informed by data from Ashley Madison).
It’s All in the 9s
The behavior of adults in their “9-ending ages” – 29, 39, 49, and so on – is apparently different than throughout the rest of that decade. And extramarital affairs are far more likely to occur in the 9-ending years. The 9-enders are apparently quite preoccupied with aging and living a meaningful life – opting to cheat could supply them with the punch of vitality and verve they’re seeking.
In the above-mentioned studies regarding infidelity, there was one constant across the board: People needed opportunities to cheat in order for it to be more likely to occur. Of course, with the internet at your fingertips along with dating sites focused on promoting extramarital affairs, there is always an opportunity to engage in something illicit. So it follows then that a person’s unique personality traits come into play as well – some people are simply greater risk-takers and far more likely to cheat when given the chance.
Infidelity is not easy to study or quantify. There are not all that many people willing to own up to their indiscretions to make a survey or study completely accurate. And if the users on Ashley Madison and similar sites are already OK with cheating, who’s to say the ages they report on their profiles are to be believed?
Plus, not everyone defines cheating the same way. One person might consider sexting with someone other than their spouse a sign that their marriage is over, while another person may consider this a forgivable offense. An emotional affair with no physical indiscretions could be the end for one person while another person is relieved that there has been no physical intimacy and is willing to move on.
So did you marry the wrong person? Are you unable to handle the indiscretions of the risk-taker you’re legally wed to? Do you suspect that your marriage is going downhill, whether it’s the seven-year itch, age 39, or a feeling of inadequacy on someone’s part? Even though Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, infidelity still matters, especially when it comes to parenting time and financial matters.
If divorce has become part of the conversation in your marriage, or if you are ready to learn more about how to initiate a divorce, contact an experienced Michigan divorce attorney at Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your no-cost initial interview.