Divorce takes some getting used to, even if the breakup of your marriage has been a long time coming. When December rolls around, divorce will be front and center, changing your life in ways you didn’t even see coming. Your feelings will be up and down during the holidays after divorce, but having an idea of what’s ahead can help you cope.
Here are just five feelings you might experience during the holidays after your Michigan divorce:
Life has changed. And if you are recently divorced or separated, the wound is still raw. You will absolutely be sad at a time of year when life is “supposed” to be happy. Your traditions will change. Your kids will not have a holiday dinner together with their parents. You’ll feel bad about not being able to make your marriage work. Having a support system and distractions in place can help you get through this emotion and prevent it from lingering longer than necessary.
Pulling out the holiday decorations. Looking at holiday cards from years past. Sending new holiday cards with one person missing, or not sending holiday cards at all. You may find yourself wandering through holiday decorations at the grocery store and tear up thinking about what life used to be like. There is nothing like a major holiday to make a divorced person miss the life they once had, or “should” have had. But life wasn’t right, and that’s why you’re divorced now. Nostalgia will be a hard habit to break, so allow yourself to feel all the feels, but move on quickly. Dwelling on the past will prevent you from appreciating the present.
Not knowing what your emotions are going to throw at you, not being able to guess how your kids will feel about this new way of life, not being able to afford the kind of holiday you want to have – fear is inherent in all these scenarios. Tempering your expectations and working out what all the possible outcomes of a holiday situation might be can help temper any fear that arises.
When divorced parents don’t spend the holiday together, the kids can’t be in two places at once. You won’t be spending all day with your children on Christmas, if you see them at all. Splitting up the holiday in a new way will make you lonely. Facing a cozy and warm and loving time of year without a significant other will make you feel lonely. Instead of allowing a New Year celebration to get you down, do your best to be optimistic about the fresh start you’ve been given.
Yes, there is one “good” emotion on this list. Some couples are downright joyful to be in a new place in their lives come holiday time. They are happy to have their divorce underway or complete, and they are ready to move on with their lives come the dawn of the New Year. Their children are delighted to see their parents finally feeling happy, even if they’re not all together in one place. Don’t allow yourself to feel bad about feeling good. Divorce is a battle, and you’ve earned your happiness.
Don’t allow a divorce struggle to get in the way of a happy holiday. Depend on your Michigan divorce attorney to support you along the way. Contact Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens to schedule your free initial interview.