Summer should be a fun time for couples and families. The weather is nicer. There are vacations to look forward to. School is out and obligations are far fewer. While divorce rates may peak at the very start of the year, there are situations and occasions during the summer that can push a shaky marriage to the brink and have a couple deciding that it’s finally time to get a Michigan divorce.
Maybe he drinks more than you would like, maybe she isn’t all that nice after all, maybe you have different ideas about what’s fun and what constitutes a true vacation. No one says you both must love the beach or theme parks to make it work, but compromise is at the heart of every healthy marriage.
If you’ve reached the point where you’re unyielding about the kind of couples’ vacation you’re taking, or the kind of vacay that’s right for your family, this is an opportunity to figure out why you’re now resistant to what your spouse wanted, where in the past you would have been willing to honor their wishes just to be happy together.
Getting together with blood relatives – or non-blood relatives, as the case may be – can remind you that your spouse may not be the most popular person in the family. When in the past you may have defended him or her, or been proud to go against the grain, the imperfections that rub others the wrong way may be bothering you now too.
You may be more susceptible to criticisms from family, realizing that maybe they were right all along about you not necessarily choosing the right mate or that your blended family would never work. Or maybe you’re the one who’s the odd man out, and you’re with your in-laws. An occasion like this can highlight to you why your union is just not right, and make you think about why now is the time to get out and start over.
Summer is the time for parties, cookouts, and togetherness with friends. These gatherings can make it clear, however, that things in your marriage are a little rocky. Where you once thought his jokes were funny or her shyness endearing, time with friends – old or new – can make you see that what once made you proud to call your spouse your spouse is what drives you crazy, and may even embarrass you. He’s told that story one too many times, she hits on that one buddy every time you see him, you just don’t like hanging out together anymore.
Plus, social occasions put the spotlight on marriages that seem to be great (though don’t underestimate a couples’ ability to put on a good show in public – you’ve done that too, haven’t you?) and can have you thinking more and more about what’s wrong with your own relationship.
Nothing forces you to look at your spouse more closely than mutual or individual downtime. Summer means months off from school obligations you have for your kids. You may have days off that your spouse does not and you have time to breathe and think whereas you’re usually running around frantically trying to fit everything into every day that needs to get done.
Downtime is good. You need it to recharge, relax, and to develop new ideas – unfortunately, for some, this downtime affords them the opportunity to finally examine what’s going on in their relationship, and how they’ve been hiding behind a busy schedule instead of facing the reality of a failing marriage.
Remember, summer is a time when the heat is on – hot weather can make tempers rise and crankiness find its footing for far longer than you would like. It’s wise to wait a bit to let your emotions cool and really examine your relationship before you call it quits after one failed trip to the lake. But if you know you’re ready to get moving on a Michigan divorce, contact Femminineo Attorneys PLLC in Mount Clemens for your initial consultation.