Whether you are newly divorced or in the thick of divorce proceedings, the approaching holidays can put you in a funk or have you behaving in ways that just aren’t you. Everything has changed, and now all the traditions you had with your ex and family have been twisted and altered too. This time will be a little weird – that’s inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be a bust. Follow these dos and don’ts to make it through the season without feeling emotionally or mentally drained, stressed, or overwhelmed.
Do find your holiday spirit.
No need to turn into Ebenezer Scrooge because you’re fresh off a Michigan divorce or trying to deal with the details of one during the holidays. The last thing you want to do is a creating a lasting memory that you hate the holidays because this is when you were getting divorced. Put all those details on the back burner for as long as possible (without missing any of your divorce lawyer’s deadlines) and let yourself enjoy all your favorite things. Next year will be easier.
Don’t force traditions you never liked.
Sure, maybe you will lament the loss of the family outing to see a major light display or cocoa around the fire on Christmas Eve. You can still do these things, just sans one person. But if you always disliked getting dressed up for breakfast on Christmas morning or going overboard on presents, now is an opportunity to usher in traditions that you want and like. It’s the best time to introduce a new normal to your kids and you won’t have to compromise with your ex about any of it.
Do treat yourself.
Not expecting any special gifts from anyone this year since your ex sure won’t be buying you anything? Don’t wait for someone to think of you – go ahead and think of yourself. You have permission to buy something special, wrap it up, and gift it to yourself. Indulging in things that make you happy during the holiday is a great way to get past the things you might be missing.
Don’t be too naughty or too nice.
When you’re in the middle of divorce negotiations, you may feel a little sentimental about your ex, just because of the season. Go ahead and be nostalgic – but do it in the privacy of your own home and get it out of your system. You may also be on the other end of the spectrum and feel a little vindictive about what’s being forced on your life – don’t be naughty and spiteful in your settlement requests because this kind of behavior ultimate won’t help your divorce efforts.
Maintain your carefully thought-out positions when it comes to parenting time, spousal support, assets, and everything else – this month is just one time of year. Your choices in your divorce will affect the rest of your life. A tough, determined family law attorney will help you stay focused.
Do get clarity on parenting time.
For divorcing parents, holidays aren’t the holidays without the kids by their side. Make sure your parenting time schedule is clear, and if you aren’t divorced yet then file for interim orders that address who your kids will be with on all special occasions throughout the end of the year.
Ready to get a Michigan divorce? Have questions about navigating your split at this time of year? Contact Michigan Divorce Help to schedule your free initial consultation.