There will be plenty of togetherness this holiday season as usual. For some couples, this overdose on time with each other is the last straw in an already shaky union, leading to filing for Michigan divorce in January. Making the news lately, though, are the ways some couples choose to live together – or separately – in their marriage. Some sleep apart, some even live apart. Could a choice like this help save your relationship?
The Side Effects of a Shared Marital Bed
Maybe those separate twin beds that featured so prominently on the age-old sitcom I Love Lucy weren’t such a bad idea after all. They may have been set up for propriety’s sake on television but, in real life, sharing a bed with someone isn’t always sweetness and snuggles, no matter how much you love them. Think of all the things that can plague a shared bed:
- Snoring
- Teeth grinding
- Body heat
- Cover hog
- Late-night bathroom visits
- Insomnia
Sleeping beside one of these people – or being one of these people – is not easy. And when you aren’t well-rested, night after night after night, you are cranky, moody, easily frustrated, intolerant, and your ability to communicate and your level of empathy for your spouse will be stunted. Plus, your health could be at risk. Sleep deprivation is a serious condition, and your spouse could be the cause.
Prioritize Sleep in Your Marriage
The solution to poor sleep because of your partner? Separate beds situated side by side could be enough for couples who are dealing with the less noisy aspects of sleep disruption. But if one of you is a snorer or hooked up to a sleep apnea machine, separate bedrooms is a great place to start.
Allowing children into the bed every night is the fast track to sleep deprivation too. You may love snuggling with your little ones, but the lack of sleep isn’t doing any of you any favors. If you and your partner disagree on letting the kids in the bed, this could also ding your marriage and lead you to fighting about parenting time instead of finding an alternative to nighttime habits.
You aren’t winning any medals by sleeping in the same bed as your spouse and suffering every night. You aren’t guaranteeing the solidity of your marriage by sharing a bed either. As long as you make time for intimacy, you can use those late-night hours to legitimately rest. You’ll both be happier for it, more alert, and engaged with each other. And won’t you be so delighted to greet each other in the morning?
Live Apart If You Must
Some couples take sleeping separately to a new level by living separately while married. Many people turn their noses up at the idea of maintaining different residences, and that’s understandable – it’s a decision that is mostly for the wealthy and considered a quirky celebrity choice.
Several well-known couples reside in separate homes, or at least different wings of the same home, like Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick and Victoria Beckham and David Beckham. Both couples have been plagued by split rumors throughout their marriages, but they’re still together – so maybe there’s something to be said for living separately but together. Maintaining your own space while being with each other.
If you’ve tried sleeping separately and everything to save your union but are still ready to get a Michigan divorce, hire an experienced divorce attorney. Contact the family law attorneys at Michigan Divorce Help in Mt. Clemens to schedule a consultation.