Dating after divorce in Michigan can be daunting. You’ve been out of the game for a while. You may be feeling burned or disillusioned. Going to bars and clubs in search of a match are no longer your scene. Thank goodness for the convenience of online dating, right? Maybe, maybe not. As it turns out, your self-esteem can take a major hit from anonymous online rejections.
The Pain of Online Dating
Tinder brings in 2 billion swipes per day which lead to 1 million dates per week. Match.com has 7 million paid subscribers. There must be some love among these giant numbers, right? Regardless of what method you use to hunt out a match, the fact is this: When someone doesn’t reciprocate your interest, it hurts. Multiple rejections, one right after the other, can feel like a punch to the gut – and not just metaphorically.
A study from the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that being turned down stimulates the same part of the brain that processes physical pain. Social rejection and physical pain – we’re talking something like a broken bone – can hurt equally. After the suffering that can accompany divorce, dating can feel like more of a punishment than an exciting foray into the next phase of your life.
Swipe Left for Your Self-Esteem
Self-perception can take a hit when your swipes are scorned or you’re ghosted after a date or even some promising phone calls.
The journal Body Image discovered that men and women who use Tinder appear to have lower self-esteem than those who don’t use it. Makes sense – Tinder is, after all, mostly about looks. The pictures are the thing, not the substance. You’re being judged on your appearance and not your resume, kindness, writing ability, and hopes for the future.
Tinder depersonalizes dating, so people are less likely to be concerned about turning someone down. But because of the general premise of the app, “people being to feel depersonalized and disposable in their social interactions,” according to the study’s author. Daters become hyper-critical of their looks, bodies, and self-worth. But that doesn’t stop them from disregarding others. It’s a vicious circle of behavior that can make newly divorce people feel depressed and powerful at the same time.
Dating After Divorce in Michigan
It helps to go into the dating scene without any expectations. Even if you met your ex-spouse online, the dating scene changes rapidly. The habits, intentions, and promises of modern daters are nearly impossible to categorize.
One thing that is slowly being proven is that dating apps, thanks to their convenience, have become a bit of an addiction for some of the people who use them. It’s like shopping online and social media, with much higher stakes. Being addicted to any cellphone-related behavior, dating apps included, makes people more likely to be depressed and anxious.
Add to the stress of dating the difficulties of living as a newly divorced person. You may have changed where you live and who you hang out with. You are helping your children cope or fighting with your ex over child support or parenting time.
Dating isn’t easy, and neither is divorce. If you’re looking for substance over fluff, choose an experienced Michigan divorce lawyer to help you through your split. Contact Femminineo Attorneys today in Macomb, Michigan, to schedule your free consultation.