The Divorce Attorney Journal

Ever reminisce about the “good old days,” when there were Beaver Cleaver families and white picket fences and mistresses who called the home phone and hung up if her paramour didn’t answer? Sounds quaint, but infidelity was a touch more difficult to perfect in the past. Today’s indiscretions are accomplished much more easily, often when people are sitting or lying right next to their spouse. With the ultimate cheating tools at your fingertips – smartphones and social media in particular – there has been an enormous rise in marital infidelity. It’s cheating made easy. But no matter how a person might go about being unfaithful to their spouse, the fact is that infidelity can be expensive, very expensive. And that’s before it might even lead to an equally expensive divorce.

The Infidelity Shopping List

A recent survey conducted by a U.K. retail company researching American spending habits found that the average affair lasts six months and costs a little over $2,600 total. Expenses accounted for included hotel bills, dinner, drinks, gifts, and activities, like going to the movies.

Experts say, however, that there is far more to be factored into this total amount, like secret cell phones, secret credit cards, and airline tickets. Forget about the two grand over the estimated life of an affair; for some cheating couples, hotel rooms alone can cost $2,500 per week. And then there are the relationships which involve paying for a mistress’s apartment and living expenses. The cost of cheating can be astronomical.

When Cheating Leads to Divorce

Though Michigan is a no-fault divorce state, infidelity clearly is the culprit behind many a divorce. Ultimately, one person’s indiscretions can impact a divorce settlement… sometimes for the better for the spouse who was cheated on. The cheater may overpay in the settlement to avoid the messy aftermath of an affair, to feel less guilty, and to avoid the embarrassment of testifying to their behaviors or getting their new love involved.

Of course, the biggest cost of infidelity isn’t monetary but emotional. Breaking a person’s trust, affecting their self-esteem, making them crazy wondering what signs they might have missed, causing them to worry about what could have been done differently to prevent the affair… it’s all a complicated jumble of anger and sadness and confusion. But the person having the affair can feel the same emotions, struggle with the lying they did, feel shame, and have difficulty coming to terms with knowing they hurt someone they once loved. Even if you can get past the scarring that infidelity inflicts and maintain your marital relationship, the effects will be long-lasting, and it’s very likely that the trust will never be 100 percent secure again.

Clearly, you know your spouse best – or, you may think you do. Cheating can bring on unusual behaviors and just change the overall feeling of a relationship, like a spouse who is suddenly overly involved or seems detached or absent. Basically, straying from the norm can be a sign of cheating. If infidelity has led your relationship into divorce, contact Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your free initial interview.