No matter how studious a child is, the month of August is one that they want to stretch out as much as possible to avoid the return to the classroom. This stress is compounded if they’re living in a household where their parents are getting a divorce. You have the power to make back-to-school time easier for your kids even though the rest of their life – and yours – is in flux.
Do Things Together
If you and your ex are amicable, do as many back-to-school activities together as possible, like shopping for school supplies, clothes, and shoes. To make life easier on your child, during this outing you can make sure they have all the school items they need at both of your homes, so they don’t have to worry about whether they’ll be stuck without a supply they need. Lighten their already heavy mental load and minimize their anxiety by helping them be prepared.
Be Present
Attend orientations and back-to-school nights, whether together or separately. When both you and your ex know what’s what and who’s who, it’ll take the pressure off your kids to continually remind you of the names of their teachers, their schedule, and other obligations. Be the responsible parents that you are and make it a point to know what’s happening in your child’s academic and social life.
Notify the School
If your divorce was recently started, then your child’s school has no idea what’s going on – make them and your child’s teacher(s) aware so they have both parents’ contact information and know who to reach out to in case of emergency or academic concerns. You may also need to relay parenting time plans to your child’s school if it affects drop-off and pick-up. You can expect that your child may act out or go inward as a stress response to the change in their family life. The compassion of teachers and administrators will be a welcome support for both your child and you as everyone learns to adjust to this new reality.
Agree on Consistency
Keeping rules the same across two households is a challenge, especially for couples who are not divorcing amicably. If possible, talk to your ex about creating and enforcing rules for the school year specifically that hold in both homes so your minor child knows what’s expected of them in both places. This is another gift you can give your child – rules that are the same no matter which parent they’re with.
Talk to Your Child
No matter the age of your child, your Michigan divorce will be a big deal for them. They’ll be dealing with their own emotions and then they’ll be faced with nosey parents who may approach them about your split or peers who are curious about what’s happening in their personal life. Create a game plan with your little one, tween, or teen so they always know the best way to answer so, if they want to, they can avoid having a conversation about your divorce.
If you are ready to file for a Michigan divorce, schedule a consultation with Michigan Divorce Help for advice and support.