Many personal needs hit the back burner when it comes to divorce. There is a lot of paperwork, a great deal of information that needs to be discovered, uncovered, and reported. You will be busy, stressed, and overwhelmed and still need to carry out regular tasks to maintain your home and family – or develop a new nest. Here are some of the ways to prioritize your needs during a Michigan divorce.
1. Demand What You Want
Is your ex trying to get full custody of the kids or prevent you from having parenting time? Michigan courts always do what is in the best interest of the children so your kids will always be protected under the law. However, if you know your ex will not engage with your kids or keep track of important details, make your concerns known.
It is reasonable to demand more parenting time for yourself and less for your ex. You may even suggest grandparenting time in lieu of your ex being with your kids if you trust them. Your lawyer will guide you in asking for what you want and give you the courage and strength to do it.
2. Say “No” When You Need To
If you know that you and your ex are not going to work well together during your divorce, avoid direct confrontation. If someone suggests divorce mediation and you don’t like that idea, opt out. You have the right to go through traditional legal channels to manage your split, so you feel like you and your lawyer maintain some control, especially if you are coming from a relationship that was not equal. You choose yourself when you say no to things that will make life harder.
3. Don’t Be a Martyr
If you’ve always been the person in your relationship who gives in or apologizes to stop a disagreement, if you have put yourself on the back burner far too many times, now is the time to stop. Your divorce is not the opportune moment to be a martyr and operate as though everyone else’s needs matter more.
Your needs are important. You’re heading into territory that requires discovery, difficult questions, and running a household on your own after doing it with someone else. Don’t step aside for anyone when you know what is right for you.
4. Ignore Your Ex’s Advice
Plenty of divorcing couples have considered the viability of using the same divorce lawyer or try to convince their ex that they can both save money by sharing. It might seem like a cost-effective choice, but using the same divorce lawyer is not acceptable or ethical in Michigan.
Attorneys cannot represent two clients with conflicting interests – and in a Michigan divorce the two of you clearly have opposing interests in a lawsuit. You need someone to argue on your behalf and in your best interest, without your ex’s influence.
5. Rely on Your Michigan Divorce Lawyer
Divorce is not easy – curate your route to singledom by working with your lawyer and getting the support and guidance you deserve. Contact Michigan Divorce Help in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your consultation and discuss your options.
This blog post is not a substitute for legal advice.