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You know you’re splitting up. Your kids might already know you’re going to separate. The rest of your family is suspicious. But you haven’t broken the “we’re getting a divorce” news to anyone yet. Maybe you’re waiting for your eldest to graduate from high school. Or you’re waiting for the youngest to finish his sports season. Perhaps you just can’t afford to leave yet. Whatever situation you find yourself in, if you are spending the holidays with your still significant other, albeit reluctantly, begrudgingly, and awkwardly, you have to be prepared to navigate this toxic environment for the sake of your own sanity.
O Come Let Us See a Therapist
Sometimes you need a helping hand to make it through the holidays, no matter how intact your marriage is. But when your union is disintegrating before your eyes, and you can’t or aren’t ready to confide in anyone close to you yet, find at least one person who you can talk to about the stress in your life. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help – a therapist or member of the clergy will listen and arm you with useful coping strategies that you can use now and throughout your divorce proceedings.
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Joy to the Solo Shopping Trip…
… or the all-girls night out, or the guys-only poker game, or the sister-sister sleepover. Instead of hunkering down for the duration of the last week of the year, plan it out. Get busy. Keep yourself occupied with friends or with things you want to do for yourself to help disperse some of the tension, especially if you have to put on a unified front at the typical family gatherings that you just can’t RSVP “no” to.
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Have a Silent Night Every Night
Agree to a cease-fire with your spouse for the holiday, especially if you have children who are quite attuned to the strain that’s permeating your household. Whether you quietly argue behind closed doors or you openly and loudly fight in front of your kids, give them a season of peace and cool it with the divorce talk for a few days. Allow them to enjoy Christmas without worrying about the two of you and the topic of your latest argument. You might find that you and your spouse do have the ability to be civil to each other, and that could really benefit you both as you head toward mediation and divorce.
Don’t Expect a Miracle on Your Street
If you’re holding out hope that Christmas and New Year’s are going to magically heal the tears in your marriage, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Set reasonable expectations for the holiday ahead, especially if you and your spouse both have time off of work and are really spending more time together than usual. Err on the side of being nice, respond pleasantly, try to have a thick skin, and don’t give in to any baiting or arguments the other may start. If divorce is inevitable, then accept that and try to help yourself relax and appreciate the time off, the moments with your family, and the new things ahead for your future. It won’t be easy – in fact, managing to behave this way at the cusp of a divorce is a miracle unto itself – but you’ll be rewarded with less stress and a happier holiday. And your kids won’t remember that “last Christmas as a family” as the worst one you’ve ever had.
If you are seeking a divorce attorney, contact Femminineo Attorneys in Mt. Clemens, MI, to schedule your free initial interview today so you can plan for the New Year ahead.
Most lawyers are in a general practice and do some of everything. One of our main focuses is on Family law and being expert at divorce, custody and support matters.
We are in court daily, working with the family court judges, their staff and clerks, the Friend of the Court office, the Bar Association and other attorneys working in this area. We pride ourselves on fighting hard for our clients while working well with everyone.
Our extensive experience and strong relationship with the courts and our peers leads many judges and attorneys to hire us to act as Mediators in other Family Law cases. Make no mistake; having a strong working relationship with the court can have a massive impact on your case. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and are in trial regularly against the best in the business. We see the judges every week and maintain strong ties with their staff.
Although every attorney can “handle” your case, Femminineo Attorneys cares about you and your family. We work extremely hard to keep this difficult process civil and to shelter your children from as much of the negative facets as possible.
Once your case is concluded, we will be there to help you with any post-judgment problems that may arise.
Everyone’s financial situation is different and we work with our clients to formulate a fee arrangement that works within your means.
We have handled every possible situation involving domestic law. We will do everything possible to wrap up your case in a timely manner, avoiding delays that cause unnecessary legal fees.
When your case cannot be easily solved, we will fight hard and use all of our resources to win. Unlike most attorneys, we have no fear of the court room and we regularly win cases against the best in the business at trial.
Unlike many attorneys who have a part-time typist and work 30 hours a week, we have an expert staff available all day long to assist you and provide immediate service. We are available to our clients 24 hours a day through our hot line at 586-854-3654.
At Femminineo Attorneys, your case will be handled by an experienced family law attorney. Each of our attorneys in our family law division has many years of experience in handling family law matters.
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The information presented within this website is for general information purposes and is NOT and should not be considered as being “legal advice”. You should not act on any information presented herein without the verifying same with your attorney.