Many divorcing couples find themselves in the middle of a high-conflict divorce. Maybe they can’t settle disagreements peacefully, show open hostility toward each other, or sabotage parent-child relationships. The collateral damage of these unfortunate circumstances can negatively impact children. Here are factors to keep in mind as you navigate your high-conflict Michigan divorce and strive to support your kids along the way.
Be Consistent
Some divorces can drag on for a long time, especially among couples who cannot successfully work through mediation. But life goes on for your kids – first days of school, birthdays, holidays, games, concerts. Consistency is a valuable part of life for kids in general, but especially when their parents are getting divorced.
When you work with your ex through your respective attorneys it is possible to avoid some arguments, hearings, and petty actions. Your divorce lawyer will help you develop a parenting time schedule through interim orders even before a split is finalized, so you can do your best to keep your kids out of the middle of your disputes.
Be Honest
No matter what age your children are, they deserve some explanation about what’s happening between their parents. Clear, age-appropriate, neutral commentary keeps kids informed without dragging them into the details, exposing them to hostility, or demanding that they choose sides.
You have the power to set a good example for your kids when it comes to communication. Those who have witnessed fighting or worse between their parents will notice positive efforts, even if only coming from one parent. Kids are observant and attuned to emotions and actions. From picture books for little kids to succinct, open conversations with teens, there are many ways to communicate appropriately with your kids about your divorce.
Put the Kids First
Child custody, parenting time, and child support are massive elements of a split. Maintain awareness of your kids and how your decisions in your split affects them, whether they’re spending more time with you or your ex, are worried about having two homes, or feeling the effects of general upheaval. Kids can show mental and physical signs of stress – from headaches to stomachaches, drug use to depression, social difficulties to trouble in school.
Do Your Best
You cannot control your former spouse’s actions now any more than you could during your marriage. You can only do your best for your children, prioritize them, and make the effort to reduce conflict with your ex for the sake of the kids. Divorce is not known for being easy, and the end of some unions are full of vitriol and passive aggressive behavior that affects everyone in your orbit. You will be exhausted trying to do what you can for your kids but, in the end, the effort you make now for their well-being is worth it.
Get the support you need during your divorce from Michigan Divorce Help in Mt. Clemens, MI. Contact us for an initial consultation, to find out whether mediation is possible for your split, or if more serious measures need to be taken to protect you and your children.
This blog post is not a substitute for legal advice.