You don’t need the calendar to roll over to a new year to have an excuse to start a new life. After all, a fresh existence is effectively being handed to you as soon as you sign your divorce papers. Everything is going to be different now – how you live, celebrate holidays, manage childcare, shop for groceries. The additions to the list will continue to surprise you as they arise. But plenty of your life is within your control, and how you choose to respond to life after divorce will make all the difference between coping well and falling to pieces.
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Bite Your Tongue on Social Media
More now than ever, you may be reaching out to friends, acquaintances, and even strangers on social media just to make connections with people, and feel real, acknowledged, and relevant. And now that your divorce is officially closed, you may feel at liberty to let slip a wee bit of trash talk you were holding your tongue about all through your divorce proceedings. For the sake of your reputation, your children, and your job security (divorce can get in the way of your career, no doubt), continue to keep mum. If you have to complain, do it to your friends face-to-face, and never in writing for anyone to see. Plus, keeping your distance from social media means fewer opportunities to cyberstalk your ex. Just say no.
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Seek Emotional Support
No matter how much you wanted your divorce, no matter how fractured your marriage was, that doesn’t mean the process of getting divorced is any easier. And even if the single life is welcome, you might just be surprised about the emotions that devour you after those papers are finally signed. Find a therapist. Sure, you ideally have a support network of close friends and family to gripe to, but they have lives too. And you’ll feel guilty occasionally for monopolizing their time with your laments or fears. A therapist will listen to you because you pay them to, sure, but they’ll do it with compassion, help you see yourself in the mirror, and offer suggestions for moving on after divorce with your head held high.
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Date, Already!
Whether you were married for decades or only a few years, entering the dating scene again can be a daunting endeavor, especially with baffling but popular mediums for meeting people taking over, like Tinder. The best choice is to get yourself out there in a number of ways. Don’t relegate yourself to online dating alone. And don’t neglect the opportunities available via online dating because you think people “should” be able to find a potential date the old-fashioned way – a meet-cute situation (that really is the stuff of pie-in-the-sky romantic movies these days). Keep an open mind, look for negatives (but not exclusively), and take your time. You can find love again. No matter what, though, resolve to be happy, whatever it takes.
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Preparing to divorce? Have questions about revising a divorce settlement? Contact Michigan Divorce Help in Mt. Clemens, MI, with all of your divorce questions or to schedule a consultation.